“If we ever get out o’ this alive, sure an’ I’m gonna be after findin’ the slut an’ tellin’ her how I really feel about her,” Regan declared as the troopers outside began to work on the door. Knowing that their quarry was caught, they tried first to use the damaged lock controls.
“You mean that she’s annoying, or that she’s convenient?” Leo asked.
“Both, probably,” Regan said. “Just so long as she knows it’s comin’ from me heart, ya know.”
“That’s beautiful, man,” Leo said, and he slapped Regan on the shoulder with a big furry paw. “Just beautiful.”
“I was trained as a poet, ya know,” Regan said. “Part o’ me royal upbringing. I sat at the feet o’ some of the greatest bards o’ my generation. Though, not literally, in the case o’ Stumpy Mac Gearailt… I mean, I sat there an’ all, but he didn’t quite live up to his part o’ the bargain. Ya can learn a lot by sittin’ at someone’s feet, though. They say the wisdom of the ages is written on the knees o’…”
“Can we please focus?” Lilliana said. “I’d really prefer it if we made it out of this alive.”
“I’m not so sure I feel the same,” Regan said. “I mean, that’d mean talkin’ to the Slut, and she’s damned annoying, like.”
“But also convenient,” Leo noted.
“Will you shut up and let me think!” Lilliana said.
“Oh, ya should never have put him in charge of whether ya can think or not, the Gypsy,” Regan said. “Classic blunder. It eats up precious seconds in a crisis, ya see. When I was in charge o’ thinkin’ for the Duke o’…”
“Enough, Bard!” Lilliana yelled, just as a hiss from overhead caused the three of them to look up and see a bright purple gas wafting through the vents.
“Oh, right,” Leo said. “I may have triggered some sort of bio detecting thing on my way down.”
“Probably pacification gas,” Lilliana said. “Neutrally buoyant so it can be blown up or down as needed. The bright color is usually added intentionally, as a warning or for the protection of allies.”
“Fascinating,” Leo said. “And ‘pacification’ in this case would translate to…?”
“Anything from knocking us out to turning us inside out,” Lilliana said, shrinking towards the door. She stopped mid-step, then turned and grabbed a bottle of cleaning fogger off the shelf.
“It’s gonna take some time for me to whip up a bomb to blow up the gas without blowin’ our own selves up, too,” Regan said.
“We don’t have time for that,” Lilliana said.
“I just got done sayin’ that, like.”
“But they will have been briefed on us,” Lilliana said. “And in particular, you. Even if Fortunato is playing things close to his chest here, security will have uploaded your file to everybody.” She began undoing some of the damage she’d done to the door lock. “Which means… they’re going to be expecting something like this.”
She jumped back from the door as it opened, throwing the fogger bottle through. There were a few stunner blasts before a cry of “hit the deck!” Lilliana charged out of the closet as the security guards scattered, Regan and Leo following quickly behind her.
Fortunato’s voice followed Lilliana down the hallway as she ran.
“You always did do your best thinking on your feet,” he said. “Maybe that’s how I always got the better of you… by keeping you on your back.”
“That’s funny, I never would have pegged you as the missionary type,” Leo said to Lilliana.
“I’d peg ya any way ya want it,” Regan said.
“Fortunato was my first lover,” Lilliana said. “Though I wasn’t his first, so if there wasn’t anything terribly exciting about it, that’s probably got something to do with him.”
“You didn’t have any complaints at the time,” Fortuanto’s voice chided.
“I had no basis for comparison,” Lilliana said.
The three of them continued running full-out, this time fleeing away from the core of the building. Finally they found themselves in front of a force field-protected security annex.
“Great, this will probably be empty and the forcefield will keep them out for a little while, if I can jam it on,” Lilliana said, fiddling her way through the control mechanism which kept the opaque barrier in place. “And the computers inside should have some useful access privileges.”
It was a work of moments for her to disable the forcefield, and then she ducked inside, followed by Regan and Leo. It would be hard to say who was more surprised… themselves, or the blue-uniformed troopers inside.
“This is the final outrage,” the captain of the squad said. “Surrender to the authority of HAZARD squad, or I’ll order my men to find out what the lethal dosage of stunner rays is.”
“Actually, captain,” one of the troopers said, “the safety mechanisms won’t let the guns activate if they’re pointed at an incapacitated target. And it’s a felony to tamper with them.”
“Worse, it’s a firable offense,” another one said.
“Also,” one of them added, “even with the combined output of a thousand ray guns, it would take longer…”
“Okay,” Lilliana said to the captain, ignoring the objectors. She raised her hands. “HAZARD squad, we surrender. Take us into custody.”
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